grandma shit on top of the toilet
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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