I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
