Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
