Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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