Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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