The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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