jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
