i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
