You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
