OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm like, not good at living.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
