Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
i think i just lost a toe
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
