Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I still have a little drunk in my system
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