I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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