I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
