in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
