So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize