there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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