In the future we'll all be gay
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
