I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
being pregnant is like rehab
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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