Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
