I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
