do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
