No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
