no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
