ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
