At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Semen is not good for contacts.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
