So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
