it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
