it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
