suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
why is half of my head shaved?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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