you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
