my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
