try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i love accidental penises.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
