My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Operation Purity has been aborted
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
