dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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