I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
