Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
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