A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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