i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
