At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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