So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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