Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize