I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Randomize
