I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
