Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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