yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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