I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
pray to the hookup gods
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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