I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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