yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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