dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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