You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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