I got chris browned last night
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
