This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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