what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
