Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
