Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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