What did we do last night that was yellow?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
