Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
