so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
