you guys were way drunker than both of me
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You were trust falling into bushes
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
