I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
