Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
