Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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