bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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