1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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