if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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