would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize