Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
