therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Drake has all the answers
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
