I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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