My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
