no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My penis needs a shock collar
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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