You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
