it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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