u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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