i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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