I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
