Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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