Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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