What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
