Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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