this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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