i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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