I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have aggressive nipples.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
