i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
