It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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